1. Criticizing Fox News and/or Nickelback.
I understand the negatives. I am aware. We all are. But these two are the lowest of low hanging fruit when it comes to criticism. They are also both filthy damn rich, which means they’re doing something to please someone, somewhere in the world. Let that be, and let’s move on to hunt the next witch.
Yes, one is a sad excuse for a news network, and the other has completely degenerated into the worst of thoughtless radio butt-rock. Pointing this out does not make you a deft observer, as is the subtext of so many Fox News and Nickelback criticisms. You’re not pulling back the curtain on some great evil. We are all right there with you.
2. Which celebrities are doing what.
I’ve decided this is one of the most useless interests a human being can have. Not to keep up with individuals you admire—a musician, a particular actor, perhaps—but to devote time to watching, reading, and observing what THE CELEBS! as a whole are up to. A hobby of keeping track of what other people are doing. Might as well pick up some binoculars and go sit in a bush.
3. Goofy boys names.
4. Partisanship.
Aside from willingly destroying the American political system, partisanship is just extremely boring. It’s easy to tell within the first minute or two of any political discussion if a person is a fervent democrat or republican, and that is also a good time to shut down the conversation with such people. Partisans don’t want to discuss ideas or take conversational journeys; they want to win. They have chosen a side, and the most (read: only) important thing to them is that that side wins. It is more important than progress, or seeking the truth, or learning.
This is the definition of “closed-minded.” Yes, that includes you, dems—being closed-minded in favor of progressive ideas doesn’t make you any more open-minded than your elephant counterparts. By all means, fight for ideas you believe in, but be loyal to the idea, not the party.
5. Nude pictures of your kid.
If you have both a small child and a social media account, I understand there is some sort of legal contract that requires you to parade the former around the latter. While it may get tiring, we at the Lodge accept this. We will not, however, stand for child pornography.
I am not sure how long this has been considered acceptable, but recently I have been deluged with a host of partially- or not-at-all-clothed babies and toddlers on the socials. Where I come from, we call that obscenity. Bath time is simply not cute enough to justify the terror of seeing your kid non-consensually paraded across my computer screen in the buff. How would you feel if your kid posted naked pictures of you to Facebook? Exactly. Be a better parent.