Recently, former NFL kicker (and current PGA Tour golfer, if that getup is any indication) tweeted this joke in advance of his daughter’s prom:
He’s holding a gun. It’s a continuation of the timeless “father threatens to shoot boyfriend if he misbehaves” trope, and like most things #online, it has caused considerable outrage. The logic seems to be:
- The kids are in high school.
- There have been terrible mass shootings in high schools in recent years.
- Jay is poking fun at or, at the very least, being insensitive to these shootings with the picture.
To me, that final leap smells more like opportunity than honest reaction, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss. We’re here to discuss the meme itself; the gun/boyfriend joke. It’s a comedic device that’s been used at least as long as I’ve been alive, and it’s something I’ve always found charmingly inane.
(But first, a quick detour to discuss Jay Feely’s name. Feely, you say? Feely. It’s a word humorous in a way that’s just beyond the literal—something inherently funny even if you can’t quite figure out why. It’s as if a small child is trying to describe his first encounter with Plah-Doh. Just odd that that would end up someone’s name. I could even be talked into the idea that “Jay,” is actually a deep slang phrase for a gentleman’s member. “Hey, honey, come touch my jay.” That type of thing. Which would make the name even funnier, but equally as hard to understand why.)
Anyway, the ‘ol threatening-to-shoot-the-daughter’s-boyfriend trick. It’s been repeated in popular culture many times, and one prescient example that comes to mind is an expectedly terrible pop country song that I refuse to look up on general principal. From what I remember, the song describes an emotional father seeing his teenage daughter off for her first real date. The lyrics are written as a message/warning to the young boy who’s courting the fair lady, and go something like:
Ya’ll have a good time now doin’ that line dancin’
I’d better not hear about nothin’ more than some good clean romancin’
And if you want to think of me while ya’ll are out havin’ yer fun
I’ll just be sittin’ right here, cleanin’ this gun
I’m paraphrasing, but you get the gist. The idea is that the father is threatening to shoot the little horn dog if he dares to touch his daughter inappropriately, and the people who appreciate this type of thing are presumably touched by a father’s earnest protectiveness over his daughter, and his struggle to let go as she advances to adulthood. That all makes sense. The part where it gets weird is when he starts threatening to shoot people.
For a joke—which, I’m not sure is actually what this is, but I don’t really know what it is exactly, so I’m going to keep calling it a joke—to be funny, there needs to be an element of truth to it. It doesn’t have to be a lot of truth, but it has to be some; we have to be able to conceivably picture this thing happening in some world. And I’m sure this thing can happen—I’m sure it has happened—but the result of that thought experiment isn’t the least bit funny. It’s morbid and puzzling. Which makes the joke lose its punch. If it is a joke—again, I’m not sure.
Because what do we have here? We have this: in theory, a father so protective that he’ll be willing to shoot a teenager if he even attempts to engage in a rite of passage laughably common to American high school students for decades, at least. Don’t you dare touch my girl’s private parts, cuz I’ll done shoot ya’. For this act to ever be carried out to its final stages would involve, at best, the protagonist’s life to be led in exile on the run from authorities, unable to make contact the very daughter he holds so dear. And at worst? A life of incarceration or a final, bloody shootout with police. I’m not above joking about these things, but when this is the perceived outcome of your grinning power play…it misses some kind of mark for me.
Also, there’s the disconnect between the theoretical action and reaction here. I mean, I get why you’d be mad about your daughter fooling around, but that means you’re going to murder the guy? You’re going to commit murder because of some backseat horseplay. Have you murdered before? If so, I get it. If not, congrats, you’re now a murderer, which comes with considerable baggage. I hope it was worth killing Steve, the backup tight end of the football team who’s trying to get into state college and is probably as frightened and confused as you. Does your daughter have any culpability in this? No? No gunshots for her, even if she was a willing participant, or worse, the instigator? Seems slightly imbalanced.
It seems the uproar has caused Jay Feely to apologize about his tweet. Good, Jay Feely, I’m glad you did not actually shoot your daughter’s prom date. That would have been a little extreme.