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Preorder + Chapter 1

Emails-Cover-3D-webYo. So I have this book coming out next Tuesday, and I think you should read it. It’ll be released in both paperback and electronic formats the same day, but if you’re a Kindle person AND you don’t like the hassle of remembering things, you can actually preorder it RIGHT NOW and it’ll automatically be delivered to your device on September 2. Cool, huh?

If you’re a paperback person like me, you’ll have to make a sticky note or something, or just keep coming to the internet, as I promise to spam you again once the release date comes (Tuesday, September 2, 2014/the day you have to go back to work after a long weekend).

Here’s the other thing: I’m going to post the first chapter below. I do this because I care about you. Have a look, invest yourself, and as always, thanks for reading.

{ Chapter 1 }

How it Started

The email had no sender, which was the first sign something was not right.

There was no subject either, but this was not alarming; emails are often sent without subjects. The blank white space in the “From” field, however, was downright odd. David Grasso had never received an email from no one.

He read the body text.

 

Hey Dave,

Just wanted to let you know everything’s alright with me. I ended up where I should be. It’s real, man…all of it. I’m home now, so don’t worry.

Hope everything’s well with you. Be good.

Love you,

Sal

 

Clearly this was an enormous mistake.

The only Sal that David knew was his younger brother. But the email couldn’t be from him, because Sal was dead.

Honestly, it was out of the ordinary for David to receive emails from anyone at this address. He’d created it years ago for reasons he couldn’t fully remember, and for the most part it sat dormant and unchecked. He got an occasional handful of spam emails, but aside from that, there had been little activity in the last year. And now here was this curious email from someone. Or no one. He wasn’t sure.

So as he wiped the sweat off his brow, David Grasso stared at the text on his computer screen and rapidly went through the possible scenarios in his head. It could be:

 

a) A mistake. He wasn’t really sure how that would work, but it seemed like a good place to start the list.

b) An email from a dead man. Seemed even less likely.

c) Someone trying to deceive him. This was really the only reasonable possibility of the three, when it came down to it. And as the minutes passed and that conclusion began to sink in, it made him very, very pissed off.

 

David got up from where he was sitting – on the couch in his apartment, laptop on his lap – and went through the sliding glass door to the back porch. He lit a cigarette, hoping it would help him calm down. It didn’t.

Monday mornings were important at the offices of JF&A Integrated Advertising Agency. At such a prestigious firm, every day was significant, but management considered Mondays especially paramount. It was when the work was put in, the deals were struck, and the money was made. Monday set the tone for the week, and was to be respected accordingly. This belief was shared by all employees, mostly due to fear; workers at JF&A were meant to buy in. Anything other than a vehement toeing of the company line was frowned upon, and looked at as unfavorable by the higher-ups. And nobody wanted to look unfavorable at JF&A.

It was a serious operation, one of which young creatives and aspiring account execs dream. While small-scale in relation to other major firms – seventy-two employees worked at the headquarters in downtown Chicago – JF&A garnered respect among its peers and industry types for consistently great, innovative campaigns. Ownership liked the small size; they considered it a boutique firm, a distinction that differentiated them from the large, sprawling firms of Manhattan. They played the niche role well, positioning themselves as a personal, attentive ad house, even if many of their clients were halfway across the country.

The salaries were generous, as one would expect at such a prominent company, and the associates earned every penny; JF&A employees were expected in by 7:30 every morning, and leaving after dark wasn’t uncommon. The firm put up a front about a work/life balance and “casual” atmosphere, but this was mostly propaganda used to impress clients and lure fresh recruits. The air was tense, the dress formal, and the hours long. There was a game room with a pool and ping pong table, but it was hardly ever used. There was too much work to be done.

It was by no means a sweatshop, but when you worked at JF&A, you were expected to work. It was probably for this reason that the median age at the firm was thirty-two – even most of the top-level account executives were under fifty. It was a young man’s game, and the company brain trust understood this. Get them while they’re fresh, hungry, and stupid, and get their best years before they decide to leave for a slower pace. The current CEO had been on the job for a year and a half, and had just turned thirty-eight.

This was the world David returned to Monday morning at 7:17, a little early as always. He walked into his “open-air office” (the company’s fancy wording for “cubicle”), set down his coffee cup, plopped down in his chair and massaged his temples, eyes closed. Monday mornings were usually not bad; he was always energized at the beginning of the week.

On this Monday, however, he was not ready to go. Since initially reading the email yesterday afternoon, he had:

 

●     Smoked four cigarettes. Since quitting two years ago, there had been only three occasions in which he indulged. Each time he felt immediately stupid afterward. Having four yesterday made him feel especially like an idiot.

●     Reread the email sixteen times.

●     Picked up his cellphone to call someone about it, but put it down when he couldn’t figure out who to call.

●     Sent a reply email. It was a simple “who is this?” and was immediately returned as undeliverable, for there was no recipient.

●     Slept two and a half hours. He got into bed at 10 and fell asleep around 3:30.

The rest of the time, his mind was occupied with who the email was actually from. Aside from the fact that he was dead, the evidence was pretty much in favor of it being from Sal. He had been, for the most part, the only human outside of work who emailed David. He was the only person that had sent emails to that mostly dormant email address. And he was the only person that would tell David he loved him. No one else had said it since Sal died. There was no one left.

And for the most part, that was a good thing. It always made him uncomfortable. David didn’t talk about his feelings. His father had been a stoic, hard-working man of few words, and that was the way David assumed men were supposed to be – they weren’t supposed to have feelings. Leave the fluffy stuff for the ladies. Two men saying they “loved” each other? Even if it was family, it was weird.

So he had rarely – if ever – told Sal he loved him back, a fact that now after his death had struck David with a considerable amount of guilt. But he did his best to suppress it. Guilt was a feeling, and feelings were for pussies.

As he ran through the possibilities of where the email came from in his head one more time, Todd walked in.

“Sup, bro?” Todd asked. He always started conversations like this.

“Morning,” David said as he slowly swiveled around to greet him.

“How was your weekend, buddy?”

This was a regular conversation. Todd initiated a discussion about the past weekend each Monday, mostly because he wanted to fill in David (and anyone else who would listen) about his weekend, which undoubtedly included epic parties, bottle service, scantily clad drunk women, or a combination of the three. David cared very little about any of this, but the rules of social interaction – and the fact that Todd was his immediate superior – required him to at least entertain the conversation.

“It was fine,” David replied. “Didn’t do a whole lot.”

“No? Well you shoulda come out with us. It was crazy. Hit up Club Seven Friday night, had like ten ladies at our booth. Must’ve drank a liter of Grey Goose, and by the end of the night – I shit you not – my boy Derek was dancing on a cop car. The cop told him to come down, and…”

David stared and nodded along at the narrative, but he had tuned it out. It was a skill he’d acquired along the way.

As a graphic designer – or a “Multimedia Production Specialist,” as the company insisted on calling him – David worked with a wide range of people at JF&A, but it seemed like he and Todd had the most contact. Todd, a slender man of slight proportions, wore short blonde hair and thick-framed Ralph Lauren glasses. He had a small bald spot on the crown of his head, but overall he looked pretty good for a man in his mid-thirties. Lean, healthy.

As the Executive Vice President of Something at JF&A, Todd oversaw a few departments, creative being one of them. He had previously spent years as an account exec, a position for which he was perfect; his brash, arrogant style resonated with high-profile clients – likely because many of them shared the same characteristics – and on more than one occasion, Todd set company account records. The man could sell, so naturally he was promoted to a position that utilized a completely different set of skills. And as the Executive Vice President of Something, Todd struggled. Gone were the long lunches and extravagant golf outings and the ins and outs of the old boy network. He was a manager, in charge of delegating tasks and overseeing departmental operations, and thus the subject matter of his work was considerably more boring. There were no more big fish to chase, no more getting drunk at noon on Wednesday. His life became sitting in meetings and responding to emails. He knew little about managing people, so his wisest decision was mostly staying out of the way. Which meant there was very little actual “work” for Todd to do, and that’s why most of his days at the office were spent socializing and browsing the web. He was good at those things.

David still had to report to him, however, so in weekly meetings and whenever else necessary he gave Todd updates on the status of his projects. As he listened, Todd would nod, frown, scribble on a notepad – anything to give the impression he understood, despite the fact that he almost certainly did not.

“…and anyway, you totally need to come out next time.” He was finished.

David nodded. “Totally.”

“And hey, remember we have that lunch meeting with the Devaney account today.”

“Yep,” David replied. “I’m ready to go.”

“Good to hear, man. Anyway, I’ll let you get back to it.”

JF&A had been chasing Devaney Shoes for years, since Todd had first made contact in his time as an account rep. It was a huge company, specializing in discount shoe sales, with warehouse-style stores in twenty-eight states, and it would be a sizable account. The one thing that Todd was good at was setting up and executing meetings, and since he considered himself close personal friends with the company’s representatives he was coming along to “facilitate.” Todd, along with a strategist from JF&A, was going to pitch the company’s potential campaign for Devaney. It was a big meeting.

Bob Ross Friday – The Remix

I’ve got to hand it to PBS Digital Studios. They took a tired bit – remixing and autotuning video clips into some pseudo song – and gave it glorious rebirth with their series on PBS icons. The best of that series is, of course, our friend Bob. Pretty much impossible not to feel good after listening to this one.

Happy Friday.

The Importance of Making Your Bed

I used to hate making my bed. It’s a simple task, yes, but always seemed unnecessary; I’m just going to mess it up again tonight. Plus, it’s not like I’m parading tour groups through my bedroom. Who cares if it looks sloppy?

As my adult life has rolled on, it’s often suggested to me that I should make my bed. It’s the adult thing to do, they say. For a long time, I’d occasionally comply, but for the most part my bed remained a disheveled mess of pillows, blankets, and teddy bea…um, sheets. The idea of should has never really carried a ton of weight at the Lodge.

Then, sometime last spring, I was forwarded Admiral Bill McRaven’s commencement speech at the University of Texas. A 36-year Navy SEAL himself, McRaven was also the commander of SEAL Team Six – the guys that got Bin Laden. Basically, what he says matters.

McRaven shared with the graduating class ten things he learned in SEAL training that he thought could be of value to their lives. And the first one? Make your bed. Yeah.

 

gray-quotation-marks-hiEvery morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors, who at the time were all Vietnam veterans, would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would inspect was your bed.

If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack—rack—that’s Navy talk for bed.

It was a simple task—mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection.  It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle hardened SEALs—but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day.  It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.

By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter.

If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.

gray-quotation-marks-hi copyAnd, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.

If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.

 

Sold. If you’re interested, you can see the whole speech below.

Bob Ross Fridays – Christmas Eve Snow

“Let’s get serious.”

When Bob breaks out the Titanium White, you know shit is about to get real.

Here, we have a classic reminder from the mind of Bob Ross – that there are no mistakes, just “happy accidents.” A blank canvas can be intimidating, he says, but once you get over that fear, that’s when you really start to experience the joy of painting.

Or anything else.

Happy Friday, from the Lodge.

Damage Control

BOULDER, Colorado – The Otter Lodge (Inc.) has been made aware of a claim that a small boy and elderly woman were attacked by a river otter several days ago. This report has gained considerable press, and has been disseminated by numerous prominent media outlets, including CNN (below).

dnt otter attack victims speak komo

The Otter Lodge takes these claims very seriously, and does not condone behavior of this nature. Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families, and we wish them a speedy recovery. This otter acted alone, and without the support of the greater otter community. Furthermore, it is well known that the river otter has long been the outcast of the otter community, and often will lash out due to an overriding inferiority complex and decades of bad breeding. The views of this particular river otter in no way reflect the views of The Otter Lodge, the otter species as a whole, or these mild-mannered fluffballs below.

DailyMailOtter2

This issue was originally brought to our attention by friend of the lodge James Hardmin. His full testimony is below.

Cover Reveal/Release Announcement

Emails-Cover-final-3

VERY happy/excited/other stuff to officially be able to announce the release date of my forthcoming book, Emails from Heaven. (That’s the cover above.) This is my third book but first fiction novel, and I’m pretty damn happy with how it turned out. I put everything I had into this one, gang. Everything. So I think you’ll like it, I hope you like it, and if you don’t, I’m confident we can still remain friends or at least warm acquaintances.

So what is this book about? It says “heaven” on the cover but there’s also a picture of a cigarette. The hell is going on there? Below is a short description. I’m not sure it’ll clear everything up because it’s tough to sum up 70,000 words into a few paragraphs, but hey, it’s something.

 

David Grasso has gotten an email from no one. He knows this is impossible, but with a blank “sender” field and no other identifying marks, he’s left incapable of tracing the source. The email claims to be from his brother, but David knows it can’t be, because his brother is dead.

Upon reading the body text he becomes furious, not at the obvious attempt at deceit, but at what the email says. Furious someone would use his brother’s name to perpetuate a lie. Furious the lie existed at all.

EMAILS FROM HEAVEN is a 70,000-word novel following David Grasso’s struggle to make sense of the email and those that followed. As a graphic designer at a high-powered ad firm in downtown Chicago, David spends most of his waking hours at the office. He’d unmarried, has few friends, and his coworkers bore him. His life is a monotonous running clock. But when the email arrives, his world is turned on end, and he will go to any length to reveal the source and explain the seemingly inconceivable circumstances that led to it showing up in his inbox.

This is the story of one man’s struggle with mystery, death, and the idea of faith. When logic is suspended, all that remains is one timeless question:

What if?

 

Emails from Heaven will be released in paperback and digital format on September 2, 2014.

Bob Ross Fridays – July 25 (The Essay)

This week, in addition to the mountain tutorial video posted below, I’m throwing in something extra.

The following is an excerpt from my second book, Quitting Cold Stone (And Other Struggles). It’s an essay on Bob himself – discussing his history, his philosophy, and why I love the man behind The Joy of Painting. I thought it would be good to give a little background on my obsession, for those that don’t know. Anyway:

 

Turn off your phone.

Slip into some comfy clothes, take the lights down low, and grab a glass of wine, scotch, or something equally alcoholic satisfying. Get away from the noises of life, isolate yourself for a minute, and come away with me. Allow yourself to be swept up into the magical world of one of the great masters:

Bob Ross.

A painter, a visionary, an afro. The “Happy Trees” man, as you may know him, has been underappreciated since the time his television program first went on air in 1983. Yes, he has reached cult status for his hairstyle and calmingly idiosyncratic way of describing nature, and has made his way on to t-shirts, painting supplies, and YouTube auto-tune remixes. These things are good, but Robert Norman Ross deserves to be appreciated in a different light, for he is a beautiful soul and a brilliant artist.

“The Joy of Painting,” Bob’s TV show, was aired on PBS for more than a decade straight. For 403 total episodes, he walked us through his simple process for creating beautiful nature paintings, and somehow made us believe that we could do it too. Using his now-famous “wet-on-wet” technique, Ross would make fantastic little paintings in under a half an hour, usually featuring happy little mountains, ponds, and clouds.

He was encouraging as he was calming. Always using a limited palette – so that it would be easy for us to paint along with him – Ross assured us that it was our world, and that there were “no rules here.” He never wanted us to copy or trace, but to take what was inside of us and put it on canvas. “Anyone can paint,” Bob would say, dispelling the perceived need for formal training or God-given talent. “I believe that we all have a picture inside of us.” And always more important than what he said was how he said it.

And oh, how he said it. The single greatest thing about Bob Ross was the mesmerizing way he spoke and walked us through the process. Barely above a whisper, his gentle voice guided us across the canvas, always reassuring us that we can do it. “This is your world,” he’d say, “you can do anything you want to. So maybe, over here, there lives a happy little bush.” Calmly and quietly, he would mix Pthalo Green with the least little touch of Van Dyke Brown on his palette, and tap the canvas creating a perfect row of bushes or trees or rocks, almost effortlessly. “Just tap it,” he’d say in a hushed tone. “There. There.”

While his simple painting style is amazing in its own right – usually starting with a few seemingly unconnected blotches of color, and turning into a beautiful mountain scene, always in about 26 minutes – the vast majority of viewers (some 80 million per week in the show’s prime) had no interest in learning how to paint. No, we watched simply because we were drawn to Bob and his enchantingly positive ways. Inviting Bob Ross into your home meant 30 minutes without politics, war, or hate. He had little use for these things, and you never really got the idea he thought about them that much. No, Bob just wanted to paint. “I believe,” he’d tell us, “every day is a good day when you paint.” And so he did.

***

Robert Norman Ross was born in Orlando, Florida in 1942. After graduating high school, he enlisted in the United States Air Force and was shipped to Alaska. This was the first time he ever saw mountains, snow, and pine trees, which all became staples of his work. He had little free time, so he developed his quick painting style out of necessity.

“I used to go home at lunch and do a couple while I had my sandwich,” Ross told the Orlando Sentinel in an interview before his death. “I’d take them back that afternoon and sell them.”

Soon, he was seeing more money from painting than he was from his Air Force paycheck. Ross started to see it as a viable career option when he left the military. Because he’d had about enough of the Air Force, anyway; he didn’t like being mean.

“I was the guy who makes you scrub the latrine, the guy who makes you make your bed, the guy who screams at you for being late to work,” Ross said in the same interview. “The job requires you to be a mean, tough person. And I was fed up with it. I promised myself that if I ever got away from it, it wasn’t going to be that way anymore.”

For anyone who’s ever seen “The Joy of Painting,” picturing Bob Ross screaming is almost impossible. But unlike the unsubstantiated urban myth of PBS’s Mister Rogers duty as a Marine sniper, Ross’ military career was very real and spanned 20 years. So when he finally retired in 1981, he vowed to never raise his voice in anger again. He began teaching art for a national art supply company, and within a year began his own art business. It lost $20,000 in the first 12 months.

Undaunted, Bob took his talents to television. Initially nobody would give him a look (could’ve been the hair), but eventually a public TV station in Falls Church, Virginia, gave him a pilot. Once the show started airing, PBS stations around the country rushed to pick up “The Joy” as well. They had seen the light, and the America public would soon follow.

A year later Bob found his permanent home at a tiny PBS affiliate in Muncie, Indiana. The station promised him complete creative freedom and made good on its word, as Ross recorded every show there for the next 12 years. It was an extremely simple operation – always the same three-camera shoot on a black background, Bob always wearing jeans, an open-collared button-down, and that delightfully bushy afro – but the genius was in the simplicity. Just a blank canvas, a dozen or so paints, and Bob’s hypnotic voice to take us through the creation of another beautiful painting. Repeated some 400 times, it left a legacy of happy little clouds, mountains, trees, and comatose human beings. It is to this day the most calming show in television history.

Bob got the formula down so well that eventually he and his crew could pound out a whole series – 13 shows – in just over two days. He always insisted there were no edits.

“The Joy of Painting” was technically an instruction show, but the reason it wasn’t usually viewed as such is because it lacked a whole lot of…well, instruction. Sure, we got to see the painting happen from start to finish, but watching a seasoned painter paint is like watching the hands of an accomplished guitarist; even if I can see what he’s doing, it doesn’t mean I’m going to be able to do it anytime soon. But Bob did always say, “All you have to do is practice,” which I suppose is true. He’d occasionally give out some vague instructions like “follow your angles” when painting mountains, whatever the hell that meant. But most of the time, it was just us watching him paint, and him assuring us “you can do it.”

And really, that’s all we wanted. I didn’t want to learn how to paint and neither did most other viewers, and that’s why we didn’t give a damn that he never told us why he combined Alizarin Crimson and Titanium White to make a big ol’ boulder. We just watched him mix whatever paints he chose, and it always turned out perfect. If, of course, we were awake at the end of the show.

Bob Ross died of lymphoma in 1995. He was 52, but his soul was much older. His art has been criticized for its simplicity, and for being “childish” or “reductionist,” and Bob was always the first to admit that none of his paintings would hang in the Smithsonian. But he didn’t care; he loved painting, and firmly believed it would “bring a lot of good thoughts to your heart.” And he just wanted to share that with us. The man was completely without pretense, and in a world of turned-up noses and white wine, I think that’s something we needed, and still need. Bob showed us that art is not just for “artists,” and we can do anything we want to. “Believe that you can do it,” he would say, “because you can do it.”

Bob wanted us to believe in ourselves, and to think happy thoughts. These are the same elementary concepts we learned when we were children, but were somewhere along the way convinced to toss by the wayside due to their “impractical” or “unrealistic” nature. But why? Why can’t we fill ourselves with child-like belief? What harm does it cause? We’ve had the irrational exuberance beaten out of us over time, and as adults we’re supposed to only entertain “normal” ideas. But normal is boring, and it is – by definition – not special. Bob was special, and he knew you could be too. I, for one, choose to believe him.

Any motivational speaker will tell you that most success comes not from physical or intellectual superiority, but from winning the battle in your own head; self-confidence, mental toughness, and resilience. Bob taught us the same thing, but he just made it more fun. “There are no limits here,” he’d often say. And he believed it. Why can’t we?

The Mission

So we’ve talked about the otter life. Discussed prioritizing the right things, finding time for recreation, and generally living in a way that would make those fuzzy marine mammals proud. But thus far, I feel I’ve mostly rambled on about the “life” part of the work/life balance, so perhaps it’s a good time to focus a little on the other half of the equation.

Here’s the thing: the otter life is not a lazy way of living. The otter is not a lazy animal; it works hard to gather food and make a home, because if it doesn’t, bad things will happen. It’ll go hungry, its offspring will suffer, and it’ll never fully be accepted by its father-in-law. And this is how we must live, as well; we need certain things, and we want certain things, and we have to find a healthy balance between those too. If we want to live a life that’s fulfilling, we need to work to make that happen, because achievement is fulfillment. And it’s good to have the father-in-law on our side.

There’s an old saying that goes, “nothing good comes easy,” and I think that’s mostly true (except for those kids that inherit a bunch of money. That sounds both easy and good to me). But honestly, I have to believe that a self-made life is intimately more satisfying than one that was handed to you, even if the end result is the same. So that’s why we do the hard things. I’ll let Tom Hanks explain.

I love that clip. Great film, great message. The hard is what makes it great.

Last post I talked about quitting my job. Since nobody likes a lazy slob, I thought it wise to find something else to do for work, which has basically amounted to me starting my own business. At times, that has been hard. Generally I’m putting in 11 or 12-hour days, far longer than the (strict) 8 hours a day at Techcomm Systems International, Inc. I’m working more than I did in corporate America, yet it doesn’t really file like it. Why?

The great thing is that if you can find a way to make your work something you care about – something you’re passionate about, rather than just punching the time clock for The Man and keeping your butt in a seat – than it’s not really work. It’s your mission. And when you find your mission, all the other bullshit takes a back seat. Nobody ever complained they had to put in a few extra hours toward their mission. Nobody ever got mad about waking up earlier for their mission. They want to wake up early (or stay up late, you decide), because their mission is what drives them. Their mission is what counts.

When you find your mission, the hard doesn’t feel so hard. It’s just part of the mission.

graystorreyspano14web-wmallerNow, the key is finding a way to make the mission profitable. That’s the only way this works. But here’s the great news: if you care about it, if you love it, and if you fully commit to it, chances are, it is. All kind of weird things can be profitable with the right amount of effort. Amazon, Google, Apple, Uber – all these things were, at one point, just someone’s mission.

I listened to a Joe Rogan podcast recently because one of my favorite bands was on it. While the man is abrasive, he has a unique way of looking at things. And at one point, they were discussing following passion, and he made this point:

“I can’t believe so many people waste their lives in jobs they hate. It’s like they don’t even know there’s another option. But here’s the thing: what do you like to do? What gets you going? You like to build guitars? Would it be your dream to build guitars for a living? Well somebody fucking does that.”

(My memory isn’t perfect, and there probably were a lot more f bombs in there, but that was the gist.)

Yeah. Somebody does that. Somebody made it their mission, and they put in the hours and paid the dues and did the apprenticeships, until their significant other questioned their sanity and their parents kept telling them to get a real job. They committed everything they had when it didn’t pay off, until one day it finally did. And now they build guitars for a living.

What’s your mission?